Cultivating the Best of YOU
Developing healthy relationships is like building a fruitful garden. It takes good seeds, fertile ground, and an intense amount of weeding to nurture the crops until maturation. In life, the plants are our different relationships and interactions, which can be as diverse as the most robust garden. The soil and water that are required for growth are our mental attitude and habits both personally and socially. A seed/friendship/relationship must first be planted, then nurtured with TLC over time to produce its optimal harvest. Our character and life goals largely work the same way.
A Harvard study conducted for over 80 years shows that your interpersonal relationships are the number one contributor to happiness; more so than social status, IQ, genetic makeup, or possessions. There is an expression: “you are about as healthy, wealthy, successful and happy as your 5 closest friends”. The most important decisions which affect the ability to build health and happiness is where you live and who you consistently surround yourself with. Choose carefully. If your current choices are not serving to raise your human potential for health and happiness; you may want to consider making some alterations.
We live in an instant gratification society where social media banter is “connection” and a like, heart or comment serves as validation. In a sense, social distancing was already becoming the norm. Covid-19 made it a public health policy. Within the fear of sickness, and a heightened arena of disinformation, our divide grows wider. Emotional stress is the number one scientific factor shown to reduce immune system function. Only time will tell how much the growing separation of humanity – whether polarizing opinion, cognitive dissonance or simple proximity - may affect our interpersonal connection and overall health as we slip further into avoidance and lack of proper coping.
One of the healthiest things you can do is remove that which does not serve you. Essentially, every unhealthy relationship, triggering newsfeed, bad habit, or poor character trait is a weed having a negative impact in your garden of life. Ultimately, they can be consciously removed. The hardest choices you may face will be boldly making the decisions to support your deepest desires of health and happiness. Those choices will build who you become. You must surround yourself with a strong circle that challenges you, cheers for you, lifts you and reflects the harvest you desire. Take some time to reflect on the following questions:
Who are my five closest friends? · Why? · What positive aspect do they bring to my life? · What positive aspect do I bring to their life? · What negative aspect do they bring to my life? · What negative aspect do I bring to their life? · How could this relationship grow in a healthy manner over time? · If you changed nothing and flashed forward five years, would this relationship have increased your health or decreased it? · Do I live in the city or part of the country that would truly fulfill my deepest needs and desires?
